With ingredients at hand the baker sets out to make a cake.
He measures, stirs, pours and prepares only to have to wait two hours to even taste the final dessert.
The parent sits patiently in the line to pick-up his child from school. This is a regular occurrence that he does out of responsibility. He waits because his love requires it.
The construction worker stirs the cement, pours it, smoothes it out and then he waits.
The monk moves in silence as he carries out his daily routine and waits to hear from God.
The mystic poet secludes himself in a desert seeking to deny his desires and yearnings of the world's entrapments. All of this is done as he waits for revelation.
This life is a constant waiting game! Patience may be a virtue but it is one often hard to attain.
All the world is a buzz
Confusion abounds and chaos is consistent
Diversity issues within an organization that promotes equality
"Because of your ethnicity you do have added value!"
A kind gesture towards a group of deserving people
Still goes awry at the sacrifice of another group of people.
Those that have no clue move in a fog of ambivalence
seemingly unaware of how their actions are counterproductive.
Which would your rather be, a ninja or a pirate?
The Caucasian young lady responds, "A pirate because I would
like to have dreads so that I don't have to wash my hair
and I can keep it dirty.
A room full of shock and awe...tears and gloom!
One minute you are there the next moment you are missing in action.
A dance of texting only to result in your admittance to being distracted.
A sacred moment destroyed due to a lack of communication.
Direct news via telephone that abruptly changes everything.
A fresh reality that is served up hot and steaming like Shepard's pie.
Don't burn my mouth you say?!?!
Well that warning is rather late don't you think?
Seeing as though my taste buds are already scorched.
Same space, same air, same reality
Yet we find ourselves in two dimensions
Palpable separation and an under current of negation
A lack of ability maybe or a place of stagnation.
God you promise to be near so where are you?
I cannot trace you. Can you at least give me
a feeling to locate you?
This fresh reality has me in a state of influx.
On his debut album, Reasonable Doubt, Jay-Z has a song entitled "Can I live?". After reading his book Decoded I had a greater understanding of what he was thinking when he wrote the song. Jay-Z poses a question with the title of the song that on the surface seems rhetorical because to ask a person "Can I live?" would induce a general response of, yeah you can live, I mean long as you have breath in your body you're alive. Some religious folk may even say yes you can live as long as God see's fit for you to life. However, Jay-Z is raising that question in a existential way that makes one have to think about the existence of one's life or humanity in general. To me it seems that he is really focusing on the thought "How will life be for me?" It rest in the analysis of his context growing up in the Marcy Projects of Brooklyn, NY where he saw hustlers, pimps, prostitutes, and hard working everyday residents struggling to get by as they were reaching for the American Dream. In an interview about the song entitled "What's the point in being average" on YouTube he talks about how he wrote the song from the mentality that he had growing up in such dire circumstances. That mentality was a "By Any Means Necessary" context that saw crime as a viable option versus going to school, or getting a 9-5 and barely making ends meet. A sense of nihilism, or hopelessness was connected with that mentality, that we see pervading the thoughts of today's black youth, especially our young men. In the opening line of the song Jay-Z says "We welcome you to something epic, y'all know/ Well we hustle out of a sense of hopelessness. Sort of a desperation/ Through that desperation, we 'come addicted, sorta like the fiends we accustomed to serving./ But we feel we have nothing to lose so we offer you, well, we offer our lives, right?"
Read that line again if you need to to digest the hopelessness in that statement and to think about what it would take for a person to come to that point. Or better yet, do some introspection and ask yourself have you been there before or am I there right now with life? There is another line in the song in which he says, "Lock my body can't trap my mind, easily explain why we adapt to crime, I'd rather die enormous than live dormant that's how we on it..." He is stating the hustlers anthem like other rappers have penned in their lyrics (50 Cent, "Get Rich or Die Trying", Drake "YOLO - You Only Live Once", Ace Hood "Hustle Hard", T.I. "Trap or Die", and the list goes on.) What I always appreciate about Hip-Hop (I'm talking about real Hip-Hop with lyricism and content) is it will make you wrestle intellectually and philosophically. Where did they get this "get it how you live" mentality from? Where do we as American citizens get this ambitious mentality from? Hmmmm, I wonder could it possibly be connected to the American Dream? Could it be fostered by the fact that we live in a society of capitalism, which encourages free enterprise? Could it possibly be undergirded by the Constitution of the United States which encourages the "Pursuit of Happiness" through opportunity and ingenuity? If you ask many rappers, and I argue Americans in general, the answer to those questions would be a resounding yes! Those in power would not dare want to admit that and would argue that the framers of the Constitution did not have that in mind but as the old saying goes "the road to hell is paved with good intentions"!
As I type this I can't help but think about how imperative it is that we give young people, and adults, in these tough economic and political times a different view of life! We have to try and help them see that a life solely tied to tangible possessions and the fulfillment of lofty dreams is not enough to ensure happiness. If that were the case integration would have righted all the ills that were prevalent during centuries of slavery, Jim Crow laws, and blatant racism. The reality is that Jay-Z's context is a reality far to many individuals in our society now deal with; regardless of race. If we do not find a way to foster more hope, re-frame what success looks like in our society, and balance the economic scales we will continue see hopelessness abound. The cries of us in the majority (that is the 90% living on10% of the world's wealth) will continue to raise the question "Can I live?" My fear is that the question won't remain an internal thought but will become a loud roar accompanied by more crime and devastation! May we pray for God's justice and righteousness to prevail!
Jay-Z - "Can I Live"
Lady Soul when I get wayward and stray away from you all I have to do is listen to some of your sons and daughters to regain my footing. When the entrapping beats and rhymes of hip-hop get a hold of me I have a tendency to forget about the music that nourishes my inner being, and it is you lady soul! I can turn to Erykah Badu and listen to her "Baduizm" and it quickly conjures up the moment that I fell in love with a new version of Soul. I am cautious to ignore the power behind "Mama's Gun" as I take a trip through the "Worldwide Underground". That underground excursion leads me to the discovery of a "New Amerykah" which is split up into two parts only to equal one whole perspective of our society. After that trip when I get back above ground I turn to Chrisette Michelle and I'm reminded of who "I Am", almost as if it is an "Epiphany" that inspires me to "Let Freedom Reign" eternally. As I continue on my soulful journey I take a moment to enjoy some Choklate and send out a letter "To Whom it May Concern".
Once I have penned you a letter Lady Soul I can consult D'Angelo and call you my "Brown Sugar" all because of the "Voodoo" that you do with your enticing and seductive melodies. I don't think that D-Lo is finish after his BET Awards performance he has only given us his "Best so Far". Lady Soul like Bilal you make me wanna call you my "Soul Sista". Dang Lady Soul you got me fighting temptations because "Everything I Do" seems to be somehow connected to you. Bilal tried to make we believe that you have "Love for Sale" but I'm convinced that money can't by me love.
Lady Soul I have to take Dwele's lead and make the point that you are my "Subject" because your are "Some Kinda...". Like Dwele when I think of the impact you have had on me Lady Soul I have to examine the "Sketches of a Man" as I have wrestled with my the three W's "Wants, World, and Women".
Lady Soul I have to return to your daughter of royalty, the Queen of R&B and Soul Mary J. Blige. She made me wonder "What's the 411?" and contemplate "My Life" only to get a grip and want to "Share My World." Lady Soul "Mary" made me want "No More Drama" and embrace "Love and Life" as I experienced "A Breakthrough" after dealing with "Growing Pains". Along with Mary I became "Stronger with Each Tear" thanks to you Lady Soul and now I am ready to write the next chapter "My Life II...The Journey Continues".
During my college years I discovered your son Musiq Soulchild and I felt that "Aijuswanaseing". Then he made me "Juslisen" to you so that I could hear your every word an recognize that you are a "Soulstar". Lady Soul I'm just saying that I'm "Luvanmusiq" as I listen to you "OnmyRadio". I want everyone to recognize that there is "MusiqintheMagiq" and it is what makes the world go around.
Lady Soul that girl Jilly from Philly raised the question "Who Is the Real Jill Scott?" my sophomore year in undergrad and she made me concentrate on your words and sounds. As I got my grown man swag on she made me stop and understand Lady Soul that you are "Beautifully Human" and that at the end of the day you're the "Real Thing". Lady Soul your essence is 'The Light of the Sun"! India Arie paid homage to you with her "Acoustic Soul" and invited me to take a "Voyage to India" along with you. Her two volumes of "Testimony" made me a witness to your spirituality. Jill and India have helped me to better understand the femininity of a woman.
In her only studio produced album Lauryn Hill put a personal spin on Carter G. Woodson's classic The Mis-education of the Negro and sang with a soulfulness that allowed her lyrical memoir to be held as one of the best album's ever. As a man I had to recognize how my own mis-education has played a role in exploiting the beauty of God's daughters. Only you Lady Soul could have bridged that gap for me, and for the lesson I am eternally grateful. Even when she was unplugged on MTV she showcased your influence on her by bearing her soul.
Lady soul the music lover in me has to give honor to the fore-parents of soul: Aretha Franklin, Gladys Knights and the Pips, Marvin Gaye, The Supremes, The Tempatainons, The O'Jays, Earth, Wind, and Fire, Teena Marie, Rick James, James Brown, Frankie Beverly and MAZE, Lenny Wilkens, Sly and the Family Stone, Sam Cooke, and the list goes on! Thank you Lady Soul for the richness of your beauty! Without you my life would not have a melody, without you their would be no soundtrack for the highs and lows. Without you Lady Soul the saga of life would be dull and bland. Thank you Lady Soul! I look forward to evolving along with you our bond is inseparable.
Shoutout to the Soulquarians!!!
Lauryn Hill Jill Scott Mary J. Blige
Musiq Soulchild - So Beautiful....dedicated to you Lady Soul
Today I had the opportunity to present at the UNCC Writing Project's Summer Institute and it felt great to be back in a setting with educators and writers that think outside the box of traditional teaching. The energy in the room was intense in a creative and introspective way. Last year when I was a participant the group I was in was intense but with a whimsical aura. Though the personalities are different there are two things that are consistent between this year's group and last year's group and that is an appreciation of critical literacy and an amazing level of creative genius as educators.
I had the pleasure of presenting to a critical literacy lesson entitled "The State of the American Dream." I gained my inspiration for this lesson from my own inquiry and entanglement with an article from TIME magazine's "The Making of America Issue" (the cover is to the left). In the magazine Jon Meacham writes a compelling article, "Keeping the Dream Alive," that gives a brief history about the development of the idea that has become a cornerstone of "Americana". Meacham starts the article by stating that "The American Dream has seen better days-much better." He goes on to say that "The widening gap between rich and poor suggests the Dream is becoming more elusive for more people than at any other time in our history." These two statements sparked a fury in me that I have not felt since I was a seminary student at ITC studying the history of the Black Church and its role as a safe harbor and liberating force for African Americans during slavery, Jim Crow, and the Civil Rights eras. My fury was not with Meacham but with the fact that the "American Dream" for me and many Americans, no matter their race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, and zip code has been at best a myth or a tune seductively played by the pied piper to control and manipulate the masses. As I wrestled internally with this fury I immediately thought about the passing of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (PPACA) a.k.a. Obamacare into legislation two weeks ago. President Obama has continuously stated that in order to salvage the American Dream and restore the middle class universal affordable healthcare had to be passed. Below is a video from Youtube that I used in my presentation that sums up his beliefs and persistence in getting the PPACA passed into legislation (click on the video below)
My mind was wrestling with how "Obamacare" was connected with the "American Dream" so I went back to Meachem's article and begin to review how the idea of the "American Dream" was developed. The historian James Truslow Adams has been identified as the individual who came up with the concept of "that American dream of a better, richer, and happier life for all citizens of every rank..." Adams went as far to say the the American Dream "is the greatest contribution we have as yet made to the thought and welfare of the world." Whoa, that is a loaded statement in hindsight!!! I wonder if Adams was associating Capitalism with the American Dream? Did he know that the puppeteers of American Nationalism would make Capitalism and the "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps" mentality to the Dream? I mean the way the American Dream has been espoused to me is that through hard work, grit, determination, and persistence I will be prosperous and have a better life. In fact I will have a wife and together we will produce 2.5 kids, live in a colonial house with a white picket fence, have 1.5 dogs and live in Mr. Roger's neighborhood! Interestingly enough growing up I did not know what the American Dream was but I can clearly see how it influenced my parents and how they raised me with the belief that education was not an option and college graduation was the standard. Even looking at my grandparents they established the principle of working hard and being self reliant as a mandatory component of my character. I honestly did not become conscious of the American Dream until I was in college at Florida State University. My first history class during the summer of 97 my professor talked about the "Birth of a nation" and how America was founded. During that summer I gained a different perspective on what was important to the founders of America. My perception of this dream became jaded when I took my first African-American History course during my sophomore year. I remember my professor, a white man to my surprise, coming in the class and acknowledging that to the 50-60 of us sitting in the class that we may be shocking to see white man teaching a African-American History course. His words will forever be etched in my memory! He said, "who better to teach you about African-American history and how America oppressed the descendants of Africa that an oppressor? My entire life I have benefited from oppression and studied its pervasiveness in our society." At that moment I decided that maybe I will not drop this class after all.
From that point I have been on a journey of self-discovery, awareness, consciousness, anger and resentment, and activism. I can honestly I became a educator to push students toward the American Dream; hence why I joined Teach For America in 2009 with it's lofty ideals that "One day all children will have access to a equal education." All the while I have been internally wanting to say to my students don't drink the kool-aid! Or don't get caught sleeping and believe that the dream is true! So badly I've wanted to be like Laurence Fishburne at the end of Spike Lee's movie School Daze and yell "WAKE UP"!!! (here is the clip if you haven't seen it)
Even working at a college preparatory school I still find myself wanting to tell my students in the words of Public Enemy, "Don't believe the hype"! However, there is a still apart of me that so desperately hopes like Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. did when he delivered his "I Have A Dream" speech that America will one day live out it's creed which is "deeply rooted in the American Dream." It is that hope that has pushed me beyond my years of anger and resentment to be my better self try my best to be an agent of change not just a person of resistance or stagnation.
Returning to my dilemma of seeing the connection of the PPACA (Obamacare) and the American Dream. I still wrestling with whether the PPACA is a conception of the American Dream or a misconception of the Dream. The socialist and christian within me see Obamacare in some in some regards reminding me of the church in Acts when they brought all there resources together to ensure that all people within the "Church" had their needs met. However, my "hermeneutic of suspicion" will not allow me to question the motives of the establishment, oops I mean the government when they get involved with anything!!! It is the argument of when is there too much government or not enough government involvement. As I bring this blog to an end I can't help but here some of the lyrics of Hip-Hop artist past and present ringing in my ear in regards to the American Dream:
"It was all a Dream,..." - Juicy by the Notorious BIG aka Biggie Smalls
"It seems we chasing the American Dream, the people highest up got the lowest self-esteem..." - All Falls Down by Kanye West
I Googled Hip-Hop songs that speak about the American Dream and came across this blog on rhapsody. As usual music has a way of developing a soundtrack that best expresses the thoughts we are wrestling with. Read the blog below and listen to the soundtrack...is it all a dream or a delayed reality? http://blog.rhapsody.com/hiphop/2010/02/pursuing-the-american-dream.html
I am racing against my self trying to figure out why I continue to find myself in a rut. The only answer that I can come to is that I am my worst critic and that I continue to fight myself. My ambition will not allow me to rest. My indiscretions will not allow me to forgive myself. My failures will not allow me to recognize the success. I am in a race against me! In the recesses of my mind I cannot find a place of stillness to admire my accomplishments. With the amount of close death that I have experienced I find myself trying my damndest to ensure that I reach greatness. So I put myself under a weight of pressure that at times becomes uneasy to carry. My greatest fear is failure! In the words of Trey Songz, "I just wanna be successful!" While I do not seek the aggrandizement that they rap about in their song I still can identify with the overall message. Kanye West said it another way, "Having money isn't everything not having it is!" In a society in which the 1% of our society hoard all of the wealth and gain incentives at the same time I find myself chasing a dream that was never real. So then the race is not against society but it is against myself because in the end it is me that has to recognize that I can overcome the odds. It is me that will have to deal with myself when I find myself at my final hour or last moment. It is me that will have to ask myself what legacy have I left my family. What lessons have I instilled in Haylee that will help her live a better life than I? What will she say was the greatest lesson she learned from the life that I lived before her? I am running a race and that race is not against others...the race is against myself!
To find or be found? That is the question! I was having a phone conversation with my friend Mel and we were talking about relationships. She made a comment that inspired my post today! She stated that she has been thinking about what makes certain people more desirable and inclined to end up in serious relationships than others. Her internal dialogue is one that many people have wondered over, wrestled with, lamented over in anguish, and been left scratching their head with limited understanding. We often think of relationships as something that someone finds like a person out on a scavenger hunt looking for hidden secrets or buried treasure. The notion that someone can find Mr. or Ms. Right is problematic for me because I tend to think that the things that are "right" find us. Well Rashid doesn't that mean at some point one of the individuals does find the other person? Not necessarily, because if the two individuals are not seeking a relationship, or a person in particular, but the universe aligns and these two individuals that at one point did not know each other meet then technically they found each other. It's like when you are at home, in the car, or at the store and you discover something that you did not even go looking for. At that moment you have a favorable feeling to want that item and you either purchase it or at bare minimum discover that you want it.
I think the same can apply to relationships if we allow ourselves to let the universe operate as it often does. While I do believe that we are co-creators with the Almighty I believe there are some things that are outside of human capacity to author or produce. True authentic love, in my opinion, is not created by human beings. Thus when asked what love is there are varying definitions. Our different perspectives lead to the ambiguity of what love is. We have more clarity on what it is not than we do about what it truly is. Then there is the discussion about the different types and degrees of love (i.e., love for friends, family, humanity in general, agape, and etc.) With that being said I don't know if I want the task of "finding me" left up to another person that does not have a firm understanding of what they are looking for! I wonder if archaeologist go out and began excavating without a clear idea of what they are looking for? I doubt it but I am sure they discover, or find, things that they never intended to find. The objects they locate were not created with the intention of being found but the universe aligned in such a way that they were.
So I think the answer to my initial question "To find or be found?" is that it is far better to be found by an unsuspecting person that to be a person seeking to find someone. Gold and diamonds are not aware that they are a treasure until we place value upon them! When you find yourself and identify that you are a treasure you determine your own value. When two people who know their value and worth meet the real magic happens! So to my friend Mel continue to evolve and know thyself and when the universe aligns you will be found...as will he.
