Saturday, May 7, 2011
Fear of Writing
Often I find the process of sitting down to write as a fearful process; at least when I write in my personal journal. I am afraid to put my thoughts on the page in fear that what I put down will be read by others in a judgemental way. I fear that they may judge me or that they may read it partially and form an opinion about me that may not be accurate. Also, I fear that they may read it superficially and think that I am some egotistical guy that is vain and self-centered. On the other hand I fear that they actually may read my honesty and see that I am being selfish, vain, egotistical, shallow, and only complaining about petty things. I fear that the writing process because I may actually read my thoughts from the past later on and realize that I was totally off base, random, petty, or ranting about something totally irrelevant. However, on the contrary there are those moments when I revisit a past journal entry and I read what I have wrote only to feel amazed and in awe that I actually produced a "living document" that is compeling, passionate, enthrolling, creative, and inspiring. I guess at the end of the day the fear is the unknown! The fact that I do not know what the end result will be, whether I will like it, or feel that it is worth sharing, keeps me from wanting to write. I guess that is why I am apprehensive about blogging and posting my writing through social media. However, it is time to just take the plunge and put my thoughts out for the world to read. At the end of the day my voice has power and who knows who it will EMPOWER!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Love it!! Take it from me (friend, fellow blogger, etc.) that whatever you write, wherever you write it, will always be critiqued. Such is life. If someone chooses to read your personal journal, how they feel is on them. If someone chooses to read your blog, how they feel is on them. Yes, it is a public space, but it is about choice. Don't like it? Don't read it! Thank God we realize what WAS petty so that we know how to avoid FUTURE pettiness!
ReplyDeleteI could go on, but you are off to a great start and I can't wait to see what is to come.
You are speaking my mind here. I feel just like you... when I am trying to put pen (or keystrokes) to page for an audience other than me. And posting to the web seems so much more permanent, ya know. I can read my poems and stuff aloud anytime; they seem to pass on through the air and meaning is assigned by me. Of course, when I am talking other people are figuring out their own meaning of my words just as much as when I am writing. But we feel it more, I think, when the meaning appears to be more permanent as it sits on the page. Thanks for your honest and thought provoking post.
ReplyDeleteHey brother!!! I'm inspired already, keep writing!!!
ReplyDeleteRashid,
ReplyDeleteI have the same feelings about writing! Words are so powerful and I am always cognizant of the way I phrase things...
Rashid--You words are so powerful here!! It is so intriguing to me how we silence our own voices out of fear. We have this censor on our shoulders who "judges" and doesn't respond to us. Where does that come from? How do we lift up our voices and our students voices so that we can feel the power of our words. I hope you feel the power in the words of this blog!!!
ReplyDeleteRashid--You are so passionate about your calling, and it really radiates in your dialogue. I hope that through this institute, your fear of writing has been squelched a bit...I know mine has!
ReplyDeleteThanks for being such an awesome role in the process of collaborating...your words hold so much power...write them with the ease in which they flow from your mouth and it will all work out...inspirational...Thanks!