Denial's Entrapment

You must be joking?
Are you serious?
But I thought...
Well that can't be the case!
You must not be doing something right because that cannot be the case!
These are the words we find ourselves reciting when we find ourselves confronted with troubling news or when receive some information that knocks the wind out of us like a swift kick from the hoof of a Clydesdale.

Our cognitive dissonance rises to the surface deflecting the obvious in a hope to retain our former reality...our false reality at times.  Within if we truly were in tune with our soul we felt something was wrong.  The fear of the unknown. The fear of being labeled. The fear of being judged. The fear of other's perceptions or even our own perceptions cause us to play a psychological game of dodgeball. Like a game of freeze tag we do not want life to tag us and say "Freeze".  If I freeze I may just have to sit in the pain...I may have to allow the reality of my situation to set in and I don't know if I could bare it.  My protest of your help is destructive but I don't want your help because for you to assist me means I have to accept it and for me that would make me feel trapped! 

Lonely's the only company

Crowded bar of people engaged in conversation and the one person that stands out to me is a woman on the otherside of the bar. She's typing away on her phone only to briefly glance up at the TV. Stephen Curry drains a three to tie the game! She seems unmoved by the events unfolding on the screen as she sips her Corona in a chilled glass. Andre Miller scores the winning basket for the Denver Nuggets to win game 1 of their series against Golden State.  Despite the outcome she remains unnerved in the least bit. Back to her phone she returns possibly engaging in some social media outlet. Maybe she is checking her email.  She could be texting her friend or a potential guest that she is awaiting.  Either way she has caught my attention. Not because of her beauty.  Not because she is wearing some gaudy attire. No she has garnered my attention out my curiosity of whether she is sitting at the bar by herself because of the same reason I am here alone.  Could she, like me, be here because she is in need of feeling like a stranger? Is she in need of the feeling of being unknown in a room of people sharing conversation with other people they are intentionally engaged in community with?  Is she content with being in an atmosphere that is filled with chatter, noise from the tv, plates clacking, drinks being ordered, a dishwasher running, and the feet of servers constantly moving?  I guess not because as she finishes her drink she leaves...she leaves...she leaves.  She leaves and I am left feeling my original thoughts that lonely's the only company.

Waiting Game

With ingredients at hand the baker sets out to make a cake.
He measures, stirs, pours and prepares only to have to wait two hours to even taste the final dessert.

The parent sits patiently in the line to pick-up his child from school.  This is a regular occurrence that he does out of responsibility. He waits because his love requires it.

The construction worker stirs the cement, pours it, smoothes it out and then he waits.

The monk moves in silence as he carries out his daily routine and waits to hear from God.

The mystic poet secludes himself in a desert seeking to deny his desires and yearnings of the world's entrapments. All of this is done as he waits for revelation.

This life is a constant waiting game! Patience may be a virtue but it is one often hard to attain.

Fresh Reality

All the world is a buzz
Confusion abounds and chaos is consistent

Diversity issues within an organization that promotes equality
"Because of your ethnicity you do have added value!"

A kind gesture towards a group of deserving people
Still goes awry at the sacrifice of another group of people.
Those that have no clue move in a fog of ambivalence
seemingly unaware of how their actions are counterproductive.

Which would your rather be, a ninja or a pirate?
The Caucasian young lady responds, "A pirate because I would
like to have dreads so that I don't have to wash my hair
and I can keep it dirty.
A room full of shock and awe...tears and gloom!

One minute you are there the next moment you are missing in action.
A dance of texting only  to result in your admittance to being distracted.
A sacred moment destroyed due to a lack of communication.

Direct news via telephone that abruptly changes everything.
A fresh reality that is served up hot and steaming like Shepard's pie.
Don't burn my mouth you say?!?!
Well that warning is rather late don't you think?
 Seeing as though my taste buds are already scorched.

Same space, same air, same reality
Yet we find ourselves in two dimensions
Palpable separation and an under current of negation
A lack of ability maybe or a place of stagnation.

God you promise to be near so where are you?
I cannot trace you.  Can you at least give me
a feeling to locate you?
This fresh reality has me in a state of influx.