Race against myself

I am racing against my self trying to figure out why I continue to find myself in a rut.  The only answer that I can come to is that I am my worst critic and that I continue to fight myself.  My ambition will not allow me to rest.  My indiscretions will not allow me to forgive myself.  My failures will not allow me to recognize the success.  I am in a race against me!  In the recesses of my mind I cannot find a place of stillness to admire my accomplishments.  With the amount of close death that I have experienced I find myself trying my damndest to ensure that I reach greatness.  So I put myself under a weight of pressure that at times becomes uneasy to carry.  My greatest fear is failure!  In the words of Trey Songz, "I just wanna be successful!" While I do not seek the aggrandizement that they rap about in their song I still can identify with the overall message.  Kanye West said it another way, "Having money isn't everything not having it is!"  In a society in which the 1% of our society hoard all of the wealth and gain incentives at the same time I find myself chasing a dream that was never real.  So then the race is not against society but it is against myself because in the end it is me that has to recognize that I can overcome the odds.  It is me that will have to deal with myself when I find myself at my final hour or last moment.  It is me that will have to ask myself what legacy have I left my family.  What lessons have I instilled in Haylee that will help her live a better life than I?  What will she say was the greatest lesson she learned from the life that I lived before her? I am running a race and that race is not against others...the race is against myself!

To find or be found

To find or be found?  That is the question!  I was having a phone conversation with my friend Mel and we were talking about relationships. She made a comment that inspired my post today!  She stated that she has been thinking about what makes certain people more desirable and inclined to end up in serious relationships than others.  Her internal dialogue is one that many people have wondered over, wrestled with, lamented over in anguish, and been left scratching their head with limited understanding.  We often think of relationships as something that someone finds like a person out on a scavenger hunt looking for hidden secrets or buried treasure.  The notion that someone can find Mr. or Ms. Right is problematic for me because I tend to think that the things that are "right" find us. Well Rashid doesn't that mean at some point one of the individuals does find the other person?  Not necessarily, because if the two individuals are not seeking a relationship, or a person in particular, but the universe aligns and these two individuals that at one point did not know each other meet then technically they found each other.  It's like when you are at home, in the car, or at the store and you discover something that you did not even go looking for.  At that moment you have a favorable feeling to want that item and you either purchase it or at bare minimum discover that you want it. 
I think the same can apply to relationships if we allow ourselves to let the universe operate as it often does.  While I do believe that we are co-creators with the Almighty I believe there are some things that are outside of human capacity to author or produce.  True authentic love, in my opinion, is not created by human beings.  Thus when asked what love is there are varying definitions.  Our different perspectives lead to the ambiguity of what love is.  We have more clarity on what it is not than we do about what it truly is.  Then there is the discussion about the different types and degrees of love (i.e., love for friends, family, humanity in general, agape, and etc.)  With that being said I don't know if I want the task of "finding me" left up to another person that does not have a firm understanding of what they are looking for!  I wonder if archaeologist go out and began excavating without a clear idea of what they are looking for?  I doubt it but I am sure they discover, or find, things that they never intended to find.  The objects they locate were not created with the intention of being found but the universe aligned in such a way that they were.
So I think the answer to my initial question "To find or be found?" is that it is far better to be found by an unsuspecting person that to be a person seeking to find someone.  Gold and diamonds are not aware that they are a treasure until we place value upon them!  When you find yourself and identify that you are a treasure you determine your own value.  When two people who know their value and worth meet the real magic happens!  So to my friend Mel continue to evolve and know thyself and when the universe aligns you will be found...as will he.

Karma

If Karma is a reality I have not reached nirvana! I am still experiencing the life cycle of samsara because I have not escaped the trappings of everyday suffering at the hands of earthly desires.  The question is which lifetime am I in right now?  My first, second, third, possibly tenth?  Either way I wonder how my previous life or lives where?  The fact that I have not brought an end to the cycle is an indication that I have not achieved enlightenment.  How did Siddhartha Gautama discipline himself to denounce worldly pleasures in pursuit of joy and peace?  Adopting the life of an ascetic is far fetched in my frame of thinking.  However, I can see how accepting the life of a cleric or monk can be a possible alternative of staying in the cycle of longings and cravings of the earthly realm.  Monasticism seems so restrictive but we constantly live in the prison of wants and desires.  The warden of this personal prison is our conscious and the mental shackles of entitlement. 
Maybe the Buddha was right after all!  True joy and peace are attainable once one finds true enlightenment, I guess.  Maybe the enlightenment is coming to grips with the fact that you will never satisfy the insatiable appetite for success, power, material wealth, and superficial love.  Perhaps the Apostle Paul spoke of this same peace and joy in the Pauline Letters, found in the New Testament of the Bible, where he writes that he has found contentment no matter whatever state he finds himself in.  I am wrestling with the idea that contentment can be a nemesis to ambition.  I wonder is ambition connected to the pursuit of worldly desires?  Does one who seeks nirvana lose any ambition or do they just shift it to the pursuit of enlightenment?  So many questions and no clear answers!  I guess that's why becoming an ascetic becomes a lifetime commitment.
 Deepak Chopra writes in his book The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success that there are three things an individual can do about past karma.  "One is to pay your karmic debts...The second thing you can do is transmute or transform your karma to a more desirable experience...The third way to deal with karma is to transcend it." (Chopra, 45-48)  He recommends that an individual become a conscious choice maker by seeking to learn from the moments one is repaying "karmic debts." By doing that one is able to make better choices later and transcend pass the effects of karma and carryout actions that positively affect self and others.  I will try Chopra's advice over becoming an ascetic and pursuing monasticism.  Responsibilities and my current state (mentally, spiritually, economically, physically) will not allow for the latter.  Let's see where applying the law of karma gets me. 

Forever Self-Made

I pledge to forever be self-made!
I pledge to continue to be ambitious.
I pledge to never become complacent and content with mediocrity.
I pledge to never wait on others to determine my future.
I pledge to move on when others choose to sit idle and accept nothingness as their lot in life.
I pledge to run at full speed only slowing down to replenish my stamina and decipher my next step.
I pledge to seek the ancestors for guidance.
I pledge to learn from my mistakes and the shortcomings of others.
I pledge to define my own path and not let the projections of others determine my fate.
I pledge to seek knowledge and truth until I die.
I pledge to on sleep when necessary for sleep is the cousin of death.
I pledge to fight truth and advocate for justice.
I pledge to love people even if it requires me to love them from afar.
I pledge to forever be self-made!!!

SI - Final Reflection: Collaborative Revolution

As I sit at the computer and reflect on the past two weeks of Summer Institute the two words that standout to me are collaboration and revolution.  These two words were touched on and even exemplified throughout institute.  In preperation for the upcoming school year my principal assigned us two books to read as a staff; Teach Like A Champion, and The Five Dysfunctions of a Team.  I want to focus on the latter as a resource to describe what I have gained from my institute experience.  In the book The Dysfunctions of a Team Patrick Lencioni uses a leadership fable to address five issues that cause teams to fail.  Lencioni posits that absence of TRUST, fear of CONFLICT, lack of COMMITMENT, avoidance of ACCOUNTABILITY, and inattention to RESULTS are the pitfalls which often result in ineffectiveness in most teams.  Over the course of the last two weeks the UNCCWP staff has been able to bring together fourteen teachers with various differences (i.e., content /subject expertise, place of employment, grade level, school district, race, gender, childhood background, educational experiences, and etc.).  With all of those differences it would not be suprising to think that the Summer Institute would operate like most teacher professional development workshops.  However, that is far from what actually occured!  Let's look at the five dysfunctions that Lencioni addresses in his book and how my peers and I overcame these pitfalls over the past two weeks and formed an amazing team of writers.  In his book Lencioni displays the five dysfunctions in a pyramid starting with the greatest issue at the bottom and the least impactful at the top.  I will approach each issue in that same order and explain how we avioded the aformentioned pitfalls.

1) Absence of TRUST.  In his book Lencioni. writes " Trust is the foundation of real teamwork.  And so the first dysfunction is failure on the part of team members to understand and open up to one another." (pg.44)  From day one of the institute we established a sense of trust amongst us with the warm-up in which we had to come up with a movement to display how we felt.  Immediately I had to let go of my masculine insecurities and open up to my more sensitive side, sine I was the only male in the group.  From there we dipped into our history as writers and developed a timeline to portray events that influenced our identity as writers.  We shared the positive and negative events that played a role in shaping our identites as writers. Later on in the week it was amazing to read about our different experiences through our digital documentaries. This activity helped us to create a community of trust that would be essential for the remainder of the program in order to help each ofus grow as writers and educators. " Great teams do not hold back with one another...They admit their mistakes, their weaknesses, and their concerns without fear of reprisal." (pg. 44)  As writers and teachers we exposed our shortcommings, inquires, fears, concerns, writing pieces; and that took alot of courage!  We actually practiced vulnerability from day one, even if it was low risk!  That set the tone for the remainder of the institute.

2) Fear of CONFLICT: "If we do not trust one another, then we aren't going to engage in open, constructive, ideological conflict."  Does that sound familiar?  Is that what happens in some of the meetings at your schoosl with other teachers?  If so raise your hands!  Our discussions around our inquires, grammar instruction, grading/evaluating student writing, reflecting on the role of teachers  as writers, inquirers, and professionals pushed us to engage in open discussions that we often don't at work.  Within those discussions we raised questions that challenged each other to dig deeper and to see things from different perspectives.  Constructive conflict leads to enlightening dialogue and gives each person the opportuiity to have their voices heard which further strengthens the trust amongst the group members.  I believe during our short time together we were able to avoid artifical harmony and create a community of respect and transparency.

3) Lack of COMMITMENT:  According to Lencioni the lack of commitment is talking about "committing to a plan or a decision, and getting everyone to clearly buy into it."  The level of engagement that was exhibited this week by all of us through our demos, writing pieces, blogs, and etc. prove that we were fully vested in getting as much as we could from this experience.  I know I came into the week with some ambiguity about the institute because I really did not know what to expect.  However, that was dispelled after the second day when I began to see the method to the writing madness.  I'm sure I was not the only one but by the Friday of the first week it was clear that we all were committed to the process.  I mean some of us spent a Saturday participating in a writing marathon.  If that is not commitment I don't know what else to call it! (I hate I missed it)

4) Avoidance of ACCOUNTABILITY: Lil, Lacy and Sally did a great job of facilitating the institute and maintaining the level of accountability amongst us by reminding us about our demos, blogging, posting to e-anthology, revising our personal writing, and responding to each others feedbaclk.  In addition shoutout to all of my peers for your level of commitment throughout the week because it definitely inspired me to maintain high standards and to show up daily ready to contribute.  Often in workshops like these teachers serve as receptacles while the worshop leaders dump strategies and information down our throat only for us to go back to our classrooms and operate as usual.  The fact that we had to share with each other throughout the weeks created a sense of buy-in that I have not experienced in most professional developments.  In true community people hold each other accountable because the groups is only as good as each individual.  We all brought something to the group that was essential to our experience (i.e., foldables, Storify, Glogster, Worldmapper, writing workshops development, Museum Box, Hashbrown casserole, sweet rools with cream cheese frosting, and on and on!)

5) Inattention to RESULTS: Lencioni points out that no one person is above the team!  At times, more oftern then not, individuals in a group allow their ego and status to try and outshine others in the group.  (I wonder if we can think of any people that operate like that at our school or in any other organizations we are apart of?)  While we did focus on our individual inquiries throughout the instituite our collaboration was geared towards the goal of ensuring that everyone got something out of this experience.  As we explored our inquiries aloud through our demos, writing, and blogging we provided each with valuable information that could be used to inform our personal inquiries.  I have more tools in my teacher toolbox to engage my students in writing than I know what to do with now.  In addition, I have ways to incorporate technology and promote social awareness at the same time!

I know you may be saying Rashid I can see the collaboration component throughout the blog so far but were does the revolution piece come in?  The collaboration is the revolution!  Teachers often operate in autonomy and focus on their own little world in their classroom.  However, high performing schools and effective teachers recognize that teamwork is the only way real education can occur.  With that being said, our mission after this week is to continue our collaboration through UNCCWP and to carry our collaborative spirit to our schools and build a community of leaders that seek to change the system within our schools, districts, and eventually nationally!

"All that and a bag of chips" Teacher Campaign

Dorry, a teacher and fellow UNCCWP Summer Institute group memmber, has giving us an inititative to change the negative perception of teachers in the media by sharing personal testimonies of how we have made a positive impact on our students.  As I listen to my peers I hear stories of courage, care, empathy, sacrifice, dedication, modesty, and passion!  My peers have shared stories of how they reached out to specific students and caused them to believe in themselves and to raise above their own expectations.  They are speaking about how students have given them credit for impacting their lives in ways that they could not have imagined.  I see tears of joy, sorrow, compassion, and fortitude despite budget cuts, regaredless of bureacracy and political positioniong by school boards.  I hear teachers who are pushing beyond their limitations, insecurities, and imperfections to educate their students wholistically: mind, body, and soul.  For those who read this blog my request is that you leave a comment about a teacher that had a positive impact upon you in some way.
I will start the chain by sharing about two teachers that changed my life and I am forever grateful to them.  My 5th grade teacher Mr. Alexander was the first male teacher I had and he stands out in my mind because he would wear a suit and tie to school everyday.  He handled himself like a true professional and he held us to high expectations academically and behaviorally.  That is why he was "All that and a bag of chips" to me!
The other person that stood out to me is Dr. Riggins Earl my "Ethics in Society" professor in grad school.  He showed me what it means to be a scholar and continous learner that is willing to wrestle with concepts and be okay with not having answers.  That is why he is "All that and a bag of chips" to me!

What teacher is "All that and a bag of chips" to you?

UNCCWP SI Day 6 Reflection

Today began with some posing and freezing in one position around the topic of "Assessment."  We had to touch somebody in some way to signify our connection to each other in this community.  Prior to that we wrote into the day by looking at three inter-related concepts: teach as writer, teacher as inquirer, and teacher as professional.  I chose the strand of teacher and professional because I wanted to write about how teachers are often not considered professionals by the larger society. 
From the warm-up activitie we wnt into my demo presentation which focused on "Revolution: The Tipping Point."  In the demo I used Malcolm Gladwell's book The Tipping Point and specifically the concept of "The Power of Context."  Gladwell suggest that "The Power of context infers that epidemics are sensitive to the conditions and circumstances of the times and places in which they occur."  From this concept my demo looked at the revolutions that have and are occuring in the Middle East and North Africa over the last seven months.  To include technology in my presentation I used a great interactive website called Museum Box, which is a site that allows teachers and students to create a "box of artifacts, images, video clips, texts, songs" about an event, famous person, or etc.  I created a Museum Box aabout the "2011 Egyptian Revolution" as a model and allowed my peers to create their own Museum Box about the revolutions occuring in other countries in the the Middle East and North Africa.  I really appreciated all of the great feedback from my colleagues about my demo!
The rest of the day included Ashley and Megan's demos.  Both of them were great and led into inquiring about "Critical Literacy" as a way to inspire social advocacy and our identities as writers.  The presentations were great because they allowed us to work collaboratively with our peers to think, write, reflect, and dialogue about these very interesting topics.  Today I actually feel like I can see how all of the demos are giving great ideas of how I can incorporate writing, technology, and social change in my class.  I am excited to integrate some of tis wonderful stuff in my class!  Stay tuned for day 7 tomorrow!   

UNCCWP SI - Day 5 Reflection

Today began with some "Ranting" about things that really "grinds our gears" about education right now.  I learned about the "Ranting" activity earlier this year at another UNCCWP event in which Youth Roots, a group of young writers from Oakland, presented about writing as a vehicle for self identification, social advocacy, and reframing. I enjoyed the rant because it allowed me to hear the different perspectives of my peers as they shared some of their issues with public education.  It is amazing that we had different issues that pissed us off but we also had some issues in common.  That got the descriptive language juices flowing for the group and was a great transition into Aileen's demon on "Image Grammar".  I enjoyed looking at how we can use the "5 Brush Strokes" that Harry Noden suggests as a way to make our writing more descriptive and "popping".  The activity of using a topic and then thinking of verbs and noouns associated with that topic would be a great way of having students brainstorm before they write to help them have some descriptive ways to write about a topic.  I also enjoyed Tara's demo about writing circles as a way to have students come to a consensus about a topic and attack it from different categories and perspectives.  The discussion we had today about grading and evaluating student writing still has left me with some gray area in regards to how do I allow students to be creative while pursuing mastery using rubrics.  I wonder if the use of rubrics is constraining and limiting and leading students down a road to what I want them to write?  Well it is time to leave for the day and time for me to finish working on my demo presentation for tomorrow.  I playing with the title of "Revolution: What is the Tipping Point?"  Tune in tomorrow for a reflection of day 6!

UNCCWP SI Fourth Day Reflection

Today has been a real free flowing day at the UNCCWP SI.  We started the day writing about breathing in and making space, which for me was definitely necessary after the last three days.  It helped me to think about taking the time to breathe in the information we receive daily and breathing out the stuff we do not necessarily need.  As we breathe in and out we actually will find ourselves making space to take in more information. The we can repeat the process of retaining and releasing what we need and what we don't need.  It is essential that we continuously engage in this process as educators and writers! 
Then one of our peers, Jessie, presented her demo on ARS Poetica and it continued the laid back refreshing feel of creative writing.  I personally tend to shy away from poetry as a writer, reader, and teacher but her demo made me feel inspired to actually use poetry in my Social Studies class and as a form of personal writing.  One of the poems she used was Billy Collins piece entitled Introduction to Poetry and it really helped me to demystify my perceptions of poetry as an exercise in reading lofty thoughts of creative musing.  I look forward to her helping me to implement some ARS Poetica in my class in the Fall. 
After Jessie's demo we engaged in some flexible workshops presented by Lil, Sally, and Lacy around the topics of Inquiry, Socratic Seminars, and Writing Workshops.  This format allowed participants to attend the workshops that interested them or engage in some independent work.  I attended Lil's workshop on" Inquiry" and she focused on how inquiry is a means to become apart of the discussion that is going on amongst scholarly writers around a topic related to writing.  It can serve as a way for us as writers to get into a dialog with that community. 
After Lil's workshop I attended Sally's workshop on Socratic Seminars and it was very engaging.  We actually used the Declaration of Independence as our document to analyze.  I have wanted to try Socratic Seminars in my class for a while but have been fearful due to concerns about classroom management and student investment.  However, after engaging in the activity with the group I am no longer afraid but I am ready to jump in feet first!  It is a tool in my teacher toolbox now!
We ended the day with a gallery crawl in which we viewed each others digital projects about our live's as writers.  Let me just say that I am amazed at what writers can do with technology! We had Glogsters, Movies, Cartoons, Wobooks, links to personal writing, pictures, video narratives, and etc.  I hope that some of my colleagues post their work to e-anthology so that you all can see this great presentations that speak to our personal evolutions as writers!  Well the day has come to an end and the weekend is here but we will be joining into the UNCCWP Writing Marathon tomorrow.  So our time of writing will continue through until we meet again on Monday!

Summer Institute Day #3 Reflection

So we started the day with a little bit of enemy-protector to get the writing juices flowing and to remember how we need to cognizant of each other as we populate this space.  This morning's demos where great!  Stephanie introduced me to two new forms of technology that I definitely plan to use in my classroom.  I knew about Glogster but I had never seen it used as an instructional tool, so I can see how I can use it to teach as help my students use it as a performance task for a lesson or unit project.  Also, the Storify website was amazing and I can think of a number of ways to use it with my students to understand how history is a story that can be told from many different perspectives.  Melissa's demo on creating student social advocates was very insightful and helped me to began brainstorming a end of the year project around social advocacy.  I love how she used student writing as master texts to model the type of work students can do to create awareness and change.  After lunch we tackled writing groups as a concept and activity. I think that it is intresting and intinmidating to bring other people into the writing process with you.  I think it is like blogging but an activity that takes place in real-time!  As I watched Lil, Lacy, and Sally model how writing groups work I couldn't help but feel intimidated by the thought of engaging in writing groups with my groupmembers.  I kept wondering how authentic are the responses and the feedback going to be?  However, I liked the fact that there are some norms established up front to organize how the group should function as we give feedback to each other.   Working with my writing group on Aileen's poem from the Murray Cards activity was safe and felt easy-going.  I would be interested to know how she felt since it was her work being reviewed.  Using the writing group through google docs was fascinating as well because it gave the group a chance to dialogue about Aileen's work without conferencing face to face.  I could see it being a great tool to use with my students to have writing groups to discuss a paper they may be working on for class.  For the second half of the writing group activity my group members gave me some feedback about my Murray Card narrative and it was actually inspiring and reaffirming to hear their feedback about my work in progress.  Now I feel like I have some things to help expand my work and make it more organized for future publication.  Day #3 is over and I am looking forward to tomorrow and the exciting workshops, especially the socratic seminar workshop

Inquiry - SI Day #1

So day 1 of the UNCCWP Summer Institute was quite interesting!  There was a lot of great energy in the room, which was full of educators, writers, enthusiast, belly dance students, college professors, and etc.  As the only male I was victim to some very interesting moments during our warm-up activity but hey I just dove right in and went with the flow.  I really feel like that is the over-arching motto or mindset for the next eight days of institute.  As educators we are encouraged to plan, plan, plan , and plan some more!  However, as a writer our most transparent, relevant, and creative work comes from a place of freewriting inwhich we just go with the flow of what is being developed within us.  I believe all forms of writing are "living documents" that can be altered, held sacred, diseccted and interprated in various ways.  As I go with the flow of this writing journey the lens with which I will be examining the SI landscape will be:

What are some creative ways I can incorporate writing in my class that will give my students the opportunity to write from their own perspective, encourage and support moral agency, while utilizing technology (i.e., social media, websites, google sites, etc.)?

I welcome feedback from my SI community as a inquire daily about this question.

Walking Trees

Good morning fellow UNCWP writers!  So as a pre-requisite to help us dive into our writing journey this summer we were asked to complete a book review of a book we chose during the SI Orientation. The book I was drawn to was Ralph Fletcher's Walking Trees: Portraits of Teachers and Children in the Cultures of Schools.  In the book Ralph Fletcher writes about his experience as a teacher trainer with the Teachers College Writing Project at Columbia University in New York City (NYC).  The chapters consist of stories about his encounters with principals, teachers, students, and other writng projects participants.  Fletcher gives a very candid and transparent account of his days working in K-12 classrooms in NYC Public Schools.  The title of the book is interesting in that he uses the notion of "Walking Trees" as a form of symbolism to describe how change occurs in public education.  We all know that trees do not walk! Once they are planted they remain where they are because their roots take hold beneath the ground.   Flethcher gained this title from the writing of a NYC student who told a story about a tree she learned about while on a family trip to Florida.  Suppossedly, every hundred years the tree takes one step.  His belief is that change occurs in education at the same slow pace.  Throughout the book Fletcher writes about his challenges trying to teach teachers the writing process so in turn they could teach their students how the writing process should be approached.  The writing process that he is trying to get them to adopt is the process that we are familiar with: prewriting, drafting, revising, and editiing. As a trainer Fletcher encounters a mixed bag of reactions from administrators, teachers, and students to engage in the writing process.  As a Social Studies teacher I partnered with the UNCWP to incorporate writing in my classroom so I know all to well the resistance that students can exhibit to writing.  The majority of them view it as a chore versus as a way to speak their mind and create a living document.  However, I also know how rewarding it is to see students who were once reluctant to write ask for more time to share their thoughts through a pen or pencil.  In his book Fletcher highlights the same type of experience with students. His personal stories confim my believe that at the end of the day they all have something to say but they just dont believe they can write; I've been there before.  Interesitingly, Fletcher's most poignant moments in the book arise when he begins to question the significance of his job and its relevance in the life of the students he encounters.  Majority of the schools he worked in were low-performing schools in impoverished urban communities.  Thus, majority of the students were African-American, Hispanic/Latino, Asian and recipients of free or reduced luch.  Throughout the book he struggles with the relevance of teaching "these type of students" how to write when their future opportunites realistically may not include going to college, let alone graduating from an institution of higher education.  His honesty definitely pushed me to reflect on my on biases and archetypes after my first month in the classroom last year.  As a Teach for America (TFA) teacher I came in to my first year ready to take on the achievement gap that exists in our country.  I had high expectations, grand ideas and projects in store for my students, and relentless determination only to be smacked in the face by the harsh hand of reality once I began to recieve work from them.  I had spent the previous summer in Chicago going through TFA teacher boot camp in preparation for the school year.  I did some student teaching and endured hours of professional development geared towards giving me a clear understanding of the achievemnt gap and how to teach struggling students.  However, no training could prepare me for the real thing!  I found myself questioning my significance daily just like Fletcher and wondering was I really making a difference.  In retrospect I can emphatically say yes!!! Fletcher writes about how at different schools the students would light up, clap, and become energetic on the days he showed up to their class to teach writing.  He would refer to the students as authors, and he would allow them to write from their own personal experiences, which often perplexed the teachers who felt they had to provide them a topic to write about.  For the students he gave them a different perspective...he changed their mindset about writing!  The root latin word for education is educare, which means "to bring forth out of."  Fletcher was able to bring the writer out of them by allowing them to write their own stories...isn't that what an author is? A creator of his or her own story!  As a Social Studies teacher my desire is that my students leave my class viewing history as a story that is still unfolding and that it is my story, their story, and essentially our stories!  They need to be writers so that they can tell their story because at the end of the day no one can tell their story like they can!  Often history has only been told from the perspective of the victor or the dominant group.  It is imperative that the disenfranchised, oppressed, and voiceless write their own story so that we can hear different perspectives.  My students writing allowed me to see the world from their perspective and the opportunity to get to know them better. I would recommend any teacher to read Walking Trees because it gives a candid look at the education system and the task we have to challenge the status quo and be the best educators we can possibly be.  Not for recognition but because our students need it and they deserve it!  I would like to end with this qoute by Fletcher around the concept of being an "incubated spy" as a teacher:

"The nature of my job, I quickly realized, was to function as a catalyst, a change agent myslef.  But, by design, the change would happen slowly, surreptitiously."

Be the change!!!!

Proudest Moments

Last Sunday was Father's Day and my wife, Amber, and daughter, Haylee, decided to take me to Olive Garden for lunch to celebrate.  Olive Garden was my choice because I love Italian food!!!  While at lunch Amber asked me a question that I was not expecting!  She asked me, "So, what is your proudest moment as a Father?"  I was definitely caught off guard and had to take a moment to think about a response.  For a moment I was blank because it really was a profound question that I personally had never really thought about.  Then immediately I was taken back to Haylee's first dance recital last year.  I remember sitting in the dress rehearsal the Friday evening before the recital, by myself, and just being amazed at how fearless she was on stage!  I mean there was my little princess on the stage of the Ovens Auditorium doing her dance steps just like she practiced at home.  The emotions that swelled up within me were indescribable!  The closest thing I could compare to it was the moment I saw her for the first time when she was born.  I was amazed, overjoyed, overwhelmed, proud, lovestruck, nervous, and afraid at the same time!  Well after today I can add another moment to my list, which I pray will only continue to grow as she grows into the great woman I believe she will become.  Today was her second dance recital and the same emotions from last year came rushing back the moment I saw her tip-toe onto the stage in her costume.  My baby was the fifth child in the front row of her dance group, and just like last year she fearlessly completed her dance steps, while following the instruction of her teacher.  At her age she seems to love the stage and is not scared of performing in front of big crowds.  That is contrary to how I operated when I was her age.  My ability to speak or just stand before others definitely developed over time as I gained experience.  When I look at Haylee I am amazed that she is my child and grateful to God that he entrusted me with such a great gift!  I do not want to be one of those over zealous parents that push their child to be dancers, musicians, singers, or actors, but it is obvious that she loves to perform!  Kudos to BB Dance Productions for another great performance and for providing a great program to participate in not just for dance but to become confident, intelligent, and amazing young women.  Congratulations Haylee! Daddy is so proud of you and I look forward to many more proud moments!!!!

Forever a Momma's Boy

So often the term "Momma's Boy" is used to classify a man or little boy that has a strong relationship with his mother.  The term has positive and negative connotations.  As we celebrate Mother's Day I could not help but think about how I have often referred to my self as a "Momma's Boy".  Growing up I would spent countless hours just laying with my mom and talking to her.  When my siblings would go out with their friends or be engaged in other activities in the house I would be right there with my mom; even on holidays.  As I reflect I cannot identify any one specific reason why I just felt so inclined to spend time with my mom like I did.  However, I can identify how being around her shaped who I am. My mom was a calm and warm person that drew people to her naturally.  My mom was peaceful and reflective.  She would not say much but when she did she spoke with a level of insight and wisdom that often was captivating to me as teenager.  My mother was a natural leader.  In fact she did not seek out leadership opportunities, people would approach her to lead things because of her ability to lead by example.  My mother was a strong women, who did not let us see her be vulnerable.  I can only recall a few moments in my life that I saw my mom cry or seem as though she was emotionally distraught...But you know what, I learned more about her in those moments then in any other time because she showed me that even the strong have moments of weakness, and it is alright.  Too often I hear the term "Momma's Boy" used in a negative light to speak of "dead beat" older men who do not own their own home but may be living with their mother.  Also, the term has been used to describe men that do not know how to keep their mothers out of the middle of their relationships.  They allow their mothers to either get to involved in the relationship or they may turn to them for advice that often alienates or pisses off the other woman in his life.  While I understand how that is definitely something that cannot be tolerated I thnk we have to also see how a son's relationship with his mother is the foundation to helping that man know how to love unconditionally.  At least I can vouch for the fact that the greatest lesson I learned from my mom is how to love! I watched her love family, friends, associates, and strangers with the same level of care and concern.  Was my mom perfect?  By no means! However, I gleaned so much about life by just observing her and spending time with her.  I am who am because of her and I realize that now thirteen years after her death.  As I celebrate Mother's day I can only pray that my wife, sister, sister-in-law, and all the other mothers in the world can be to their kids what my mom was to me and more!  So I proudly say I am a "Momma's Boy"!

Fear of Writing

Often I find the process of sitting down to write as a fearful process; at least when I write in my personal journal.  I am afraid to put my thoughts on the page in fear that what I put down will be read by others in a judgemental way.  I fear that they may judge me or that they may read it partially and form an opinion about me that may not be accurate.  Also, I fear that they may read it superficially and think that I am some egotistical guy that is vain and self-centered.  On the other hand I fear that they actually may read my honesty and see that I am being selfish, vain, egotistical, shallow, and only complaining about petty things.  I fear that the writing process because I may actually read my thoughts from the past later on and realize that I was totally off base, random, petty, or ranting about something totally irrelevant. However, on the contrary there are those moments when I revisit a past journal entry and I read what I have wrote only to feel amazed and in awe that I actually produced a "living document" that is compeling, passionate, enthrolling, creative, and inspiring.  I guess at the end of the day the fear is the unknown!  The fact that I do not know what the end result will be, whether I will like it, or feel that it is worth sharing, keeps me from wanting to write.  I guess that is why I am apprehensive about blogging and posting my writing through social media.  However, it is time to just take the plunge and put my thoughts out for the world to read.  At the end of the day my voice has power and who knows who it will EMPOWER!!!